


Bimyou

by fenHarel



Series: HSWC 2014 Bonus Round 2 [6]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Aromantic Jake English, Depression, Dirk needs a therapist, M/M, Sadstuck, but that's just canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-28
Updated: 2014-06-28
Packaged: 2018-02-06 12:52:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1858707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fenHarel/pseuds/fenHarel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bimyou (Japanese): where something feels off or not quite right in a subtle and often unexplainable way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bimyou

**Author's Note:**

> I will fight people to defend my aro!Jake headcanon. Well, not really, but I'll whine at you until you give up. I'm REALLY good at whining. Damn near lethal with this whine, let me tell you.

Something's not right.

You should be happy; everyone should be happy right now. You're all in the Medium, you're all alive and in one piece. You've been dating Jake for almost three months now, and Roxy's drinking has come to a stop. And yet...there's this constant feeling of something being off. There isn't anything that comes to mind, but that feeling won't go away no matter how much you try to figure it out. It's like there's another shoe that's waiting to drop.

As of late, you've taken to watching all of your friends like a hawk. It's made difficult by Jane and Roxy's general unpredictability when they're together, but you make up for it by practically being Jake's shadow. The two of you don't spend a lot of time apart, and you try to keep your spirits up with that. Even if things feel like something's wrong, you're going to enjoy right now as much as you can make yourself. You try to channel your boyfriend's aspect and hope with everything that you have that the other shoe won't actually drop and you can keep your little pocket of perfect for as long as possible.

You were never very lucky; the other shoe drops a few weeks later.

Jake starts backing out of the plans the two of you make until he's just all together avoiding you. This goes on for almost two weeks, and you've planted yourself on the couches at Jane and Roxy's homes, depending on where they are on any particular day. You feel like everything is a fog, and now you don't have a guiding light to cut through it anymore. The girls fuss over you, trying to make sure that you eat and keep up your personal hygiene. At one point Roxy had tried to provoke you to enter a fist fight with her, but you just curled away from her on the couch. 

Even if you weren't depressed, even you know better than to enter a fist fight with someone who uses fistkind.

After another week goes by, Jake shows up at Jane's. You don't see him at first, but you can hear what sounds like Roxy quietly yelling at Jake in the kitchen, with Jane making an occasional noise of agreement. Hauling yourself into a sitting position, you put your shades on and stare blankly at the wall opposite of you. You'll be fuckin' damned if Jake English sees the full extent of what he's reduced you to, even if you're barely functioning.

(A small, but vindictive part of you wants him to see. That part wants him to hurt like he's hurt you by cutting you out of his life. He should have to face the consequences of what he's done to you.)

Some time later, he wanders into the room with you. You don't look to check, but he's doing that awkward shuffle that you've never heard anyone else do, and he's clearing his throat like he's having trouble finding his words. Eventually, he starts talking. It's all at once, and an absolute jumble of words that don't immediately sink in. Once he stops talking, you start processing the parts that made sense. "Aromantic" and "I had a feeling before the game, but now I know for sure" and "I'm so sorry, chap" and "I think we should break up" and finally, "I wish things could be different" clicks in your head and you want to destroy things.

The next thing you know, you're on your feet with a sore hand and he's on the ground with a split lip. Your expression's cracked into something that's pure anger, and you don't feel bad. At all. He agreed to be in a relationship with you while suspecting that he was aromantic, and you don't care that you should be handling this better. Your heart feels like it's being crushed, and you need to be out of this room and somewhere without him. More than a little part of you wishes you had let Jane go after him instead, so you wouldn’t be feeling this. You're running as fast as you can, and before you know it, you've jumped to Roxy's house and you're going through her gate to get to your apartment.

You don't know what you need, but you do know that you need to be alone right now.

**Author's Note:**

> I think I did Dirk a little more justice in this one, but my Strider skills are still in it's baby stages. Hasn't even taken it's first steps yet. But it is struggling to hold it's head up on its own, so that's some progress!


End file.
